My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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