Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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