I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
