I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
