I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Me too!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We need to rekindle our bromance
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
