Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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