is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
