I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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