Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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