conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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