A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
