Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
