I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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