dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
