so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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