So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
