I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
