So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
