Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
