it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
