Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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