the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
