Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
