when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
