also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize