in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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