Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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