first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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