she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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