he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
