She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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