How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize