I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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