I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
