Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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