It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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