I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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