This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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