He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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