he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
