You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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