I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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