If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just gift wrapped bread.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
