good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
