I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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