You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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