who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
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Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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