i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
