Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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