Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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