Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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