I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so let's talk penis.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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