Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
