spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Vodka?
Forever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
