my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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