i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.