end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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