I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.