No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome