Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters