Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
false alarm. still invincible.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
