ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
