How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
