I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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