your room smells of hookers.
And success
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ok first of all what the fuck
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
