The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
